(Feel free to share and use hopebird, it belongs to rubicon-art)
im at a hotel and the people in the room next to my room started having sex and i timed it and he only lasted for 54 seconds and i think they can hear me laughing now
UPDATE: they just banged on the wall and it only made me laugh harder because dude you can bang a wall but not your girlfriend
Me: If I ever get published, I'm going to write fanfiction for my own books
Me: And then reviewers will be like, "Omg that's totally out of canon."
Me: And I'll be like, "Bitch, I am the canon."
FREEDOM OF SPEECH MEANS THE GOVERNMENT CANT THROW YOU IN JAIL FOR VOICING YOUR OPINION IT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR PEERS CANNOT VIEW IT NEGATIVELY OR REPRIMAND YOU ON BEING A DICK IT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT IS OBLIGED TO PUT UP WITH YOU GIVING THEM A BAD NAME IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO BE OPPRESSIVE IN YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS THEN CRY WHEN YOU ARE CALLED OUT ON IT NOW SHUT UP FUCK PLEASE AND THANK
Me: oh what a lovely park!
Me: oh what pretty flowers!
Me: oh that's a cemetery...
Me: never mind.